I’ve had a chance to take a wee bit more time off, and it’s been great. We went to a concert last Tuesday night (D bought me tickets for my birthday last year), and we both took Wednesday off to “recover”. I had been completely exhausted from PMS, so it was nice to sleep in a little, drop the munchkin off at daycare, go climbing, have lunch, and have a nice leisurely day.
A note about my period: It has slooooowly been returning to normal over the last two years, since I was afflicted with Asherman’s. My cramps have subsided a little, so I can now get out of bed (with fairly heavy doses of pain meds), and the bleeding has increased to maybe 2.5 days of light flow. My PMS, however, is out of control. I turn into a raging lunatic for a week before my period starts, I’m completely exhausted to the point of being able to sleep for 10 hours a night while feeling like I haven’t slept at all, and I can’t climb the easiest routes at the gym or run even half a mile without feeling like I’m dying. I really hate it. At least it’s not permanent. When it subsides, I’m back to running over a mile easily and climbing ever harder routes, which makes me happy. I definitely was missing being active.
One of the things that may cut into my exercising time is the fact that A is now going to go to preschool at her mother’s outpatient program 2 mornings a week. I’m a little annoyed by this. For one thing, it’s nowhere near her daycare. If anyone had told us that this was going to happen, we probably would have looked for daycare closer to where the outpatient program was located, especially since our daycare is not super convenient for us in terms of getting to work on time after drop-off. But preschool was sprung on me rather suddenly when they called me to sign her up, and told me that her mother wanted her to come 5 days a week! It’s only three hours a day, so transportation is a HUGE problem. I had to put my foot down and say that we were already doing SO MUCH, we weren’t going to do the transportation for preschool as well. As of now, I have no idea if it’s starting this week or not (and I hope it is, because I’ve already made appointments for the time when I would normally be shuttling A around for a visit). A will be going to preschool on a day when she normally has a 4-hour visit, so she will just stay with her mother all day, which means I won’t have my 4-hour block of time in the afternoon to exercise, clean the house, and work (but I won’t have to leave work at all that day, so I guess there’s that). The other unfortunate thing is that we drop her off at daycare at 7am. Then we commute 45 minutes to work. The preschool is near our work, but doesn’t open until 8:30 and the program doesn’t start until 9. So A’s mom will have to pick her up around 8:15 (after just over an hour at daycare), drive her to preschool, and then drive her back at noon, arriving at daycare in the middle of naptime. It’s really not ideal AT ALL. And it makes me kind of upset that A’s needs aren’t even considered in all of this. On top of all of this, we were informed that the social worker plans to ask the judge for a 6-month extension of services for both parents, meaning we would keep A through October, well beyond the 1-year deadline for her being in a permanent home.
We also met with A’s brothers’ foster family this weekend. They are not an adoptive family, and the fact that the social worker keeps asking for extensions on reunification is making them nervous that reunification might fail. They were happy to have the boys through the school year, but they been told the boys would be going back to their own family well before the end of summer, and they’re not happy about possibly having them through October (which the social worker apparently didn’t tell them about – they found out about it when I mentioned it to them). They spoke to some other long-time foster families, and were told that the extension decreased the chances of reunification. They knew we might be willing to adopt all four kids, and they wanted to know if perhaps we would take the boys this summer, so they could get to know us and have a home to stay in if reunification failed. We knew this was a possibility, but we weren’t really prepared for it this soon! There’s a meeting with the social worker today, so I guess we’ll know more later this week. I’m very nervous about fitting so many more kids into our home, although I know we have the room. But we have one special needs dog, one absolutely horrible dog, and two old cats (plus, one almost perfect dog and cat), in addition to all the extra stuff we’ve acquired after my mom’s death and D’s parents downsizing. If they were all to stay with us permanently, assuming we would still get a government reimbursement for their care, at least D could afford to quit his job and be a stay-at-home dad, but I don’t think we’ll know anything about a permanent placement until the end of October at the earliest. Thank goodness for paid family leave! I think it will get us through until then.
Speaking of dogs… one of Lola’s meds just increased from $85/month to $183/month. Just one of her meds. I almost started crying right there in the vet’s office. The receptionist told me she had the vet tech call the pharmaceutical company to verify the price increase, because she couldn’t believe it either. She said next time she would give us a prescription to take to a regular pharmacy, since the price increase is only for veterinary use of the medicine (WTF????). I just priced it out at Costco, and unless they jack up their prices too, it will go back to $85/month. But it’s getting harder and harder for us to afford our dog! And Marley has turned into a nightmare of a dog. He’s been peeing everywhere, stealing A’s food and toys, and trying to pick fights with Apollo. He also figured out if he gets a running start, he can jump over the courtyard wall, and he ran away three times this weekend, forcing D or I to chase him across busy streets and corner him before carrying him home. We can’t let him go out in the courtyard anymore, obviously. I’m wondering if he would be better off with a different family, with an adult who’s home all day, and without another assertive male dog. I love him, but I don’t know if our home is the best place for him anymore. It makes me kind of sad.
And speaking of being sad, I’m going to see a grief counselor this week. While my feelings about my mom’s death are more than just grief, I think talking to someone will be a good first step. The last 6 months have been pretty difficult for me overall, and I want to get back to the happy person I was before infertility and my mother’s decline and death.