I turned 39 yesterday (although every time I type it, it somehow comes out as 29. Huh). I’m definitely starting to feel older. I’ve always thought of myself as a “young person”, but my joints are starting to creak these days. I can’t believe I’m this old. Four years ago, D and I were beginning to think about having a family. Three years ago, we were newly married and beginning to realize it wouldn’t happen as easily or as quickly as we had thought. Two years ago, we found out that in addition to DOR, I also had severe Asherman’s and would never have a functioning uterus, and our options were limited to adoption or surrogacy with donor eggs. One year ago, we were almost done with the foster care resource family approval process, and 10 months ago we got our first foster child. I’m still hopeful that we’ll have a child of our own someday through adoption, but it does seem to get less likely all the time.
I had hoped to spend at least part of my birthday relaxing. L2 had counseling, and since I have to stick around and wait in the lobby, I figured I’d bring my latest reading material (a book about home organization and the latest IKEA catalog) and get a good 45 minutes of alone time to do what I wanted. Alas, it was not to be. When I picked up L2 from summer camp, which is located on one of the city’s elementary school campuses, the camp director told me she’d just had someone in who had been trying to get her kids into the same school we’re trying to get the Ls into (and which we’d been assured there would be no problem with space). She had found out that there was no space, and was frantically trying to get them into another school that has before-and-after school care. Our neighborhood school doesn’t have on-campus before-and-after school care, and the shuttle to the closest care facility has a waiting list, which is why we were trying to get the kids into a different school. So I spent the hour frantically calling D, the school, the school district, and the YMCA (for child care), and then after L2 was done with counseling, we drove to the YMCA and the district to try to get something figured out. No dice with the YMCA, and someone from the district is supposed to call me today to let me know if any other campuses that have on-site care have openings for kindergarten and first grade. School starts MONDAY. D’s reaction was something along the lines of “well, they should have told us sooner, so we’re just going to drop them off where we think they should be on Monday morning”. Which is just SO not helpful. And on top of that, the school that I suspect we may be able to get them into has kindergarten orientation TODAY at 3, so I’m hoping someone from the district calls me before 2 to let me know so I have time to get there if I need to go.
Then I rushed to pick up L1 from summer camp so we could get home before our social worker meeting (which was the one bright spot of my week! More in a minute). L1 was refusing to clean up and they didn’t want to let him leave until he did clean up, so we were late getting home, and I let everyone in the house to discover that Lola has left a big, mushy, steaming pile in the middle of the dining room and Marley had marked pretty much every chair and table leg. I hurriedly got cleaning materials to clean it up, while the kids pushed each other and kept demanding that I get things for them. It was awful.
And then D got home and was just so unpleasant and demanding and rude. I called him out on it a few times, and he just said that the kids were making him upset. All I really wanted was to have some peace and kindness on my birthday, and I didn’t really get it.
The good news though! The kids will begin transitioning to their grandmother’s house! Huzzah! They’ll be going there on weekends, starting this weekend, and eventually transition there full-time. We’ll hopefully find out soon what the timeline will be, but it sounds like maybe 1-3 months is likely. That is seriously the best birthday present ever. Considering we’ve already received two calls this week to take kids (one was for a 1-year-old that I would have seriously loved to have taken), I’m eager to move on to a more suitable placement for us. Definitely no more kids over 3!