I love this baby. He’s sweet, he’s smiley, he’s adorable, he’s cuddly. He’s just the best. The thought of him going home fills me with despair, not only for his own sake, but for mine, since I’m already attached. Up until now, having a baby has always been a goal, but a very abstract one. Having a baby in my arms makes me realize how difficult it is to be a temporary parent. I’m feeling more certain than ever that we need to adopt through an agency, even if this little guys sticks around.
I haven’t had much chance to write (or sleep, or even think) since we got him. As you may recall, I responded to an automated call for a baby, and called back right away and got through. I was told that my contact information would be forwarded to his social worker, and that someone would contact me about placement, and that he most likely would be needing a bed that night. And then nothing.
I waited all evening, and finally after dinner D and I decided that perhaps we weren’t getting him, or he wouldn’t be needing a bed immediately, so we poured ourselves a glass of wine and turned on the TV, but not even 5 minutes later the doorbell rang. It was the social worker with the baby, and she was surprised that we hadn’t received her phone calls. Apparently, the numbers she was given for both of us were wrong – mine had the wrong area code, and D’s had two numbers transposed. We had absolutely no time to prepare, although I suppose we could have just assumed he was coming and started getting ready. But we really didn’t think it would happen without anyone telling us!
D and I sprang into action (well, he did, since I was holding a scared baby), setting up the pack-n-play and trying to find pajamas and whatnot. Over a week later, and we’re almost settled. I post on a couple of local moms groups to try to get some clothes, since it turned out the majority of the baby clothes my sister had given me were 3 month, 6 month, and 12 month. Neither of us really knows where the 9 month clothes went. And when D finally found some time to reassemble the crib we got for A, it broke, but several people were kind enough to offer cribs when I posted looking for a free or inexpensive one.
We live somewhat close to the insane wildfires in northern California – not close enough to be threatened by them, but close enough to deal with the terrible air quality and also to have everyone around us obsessed with collecting donations for the victims, to the point where evacuation centers are asking people to stop donating items and more local groups are having to go without. I even saw someone offering clothes, and a local charity offering to take it for use locally, and the person said, no, they only wanted to donate to fire relief. Normally, when a foster kid is placed, lots of donations are offered, but with the fires happening, we’re pretty much on our own, so I’m grateful that so many people are offering after I asked. If only finding daycare was as easy.
So we’re settling in, I’m trying to stay hopeful, and for the moment I’m really enjoying the time I get to spend with this little bundle of joy.